Pleas for Progress, Patience and Prayers

NBAE/Getty Images

(Useless Press Incorporated, December 9, 2008, Minneapolis, MN)

Timberwolves Owner Glen Taylor and newly installed Head Coach Kevin McHale made an impassioned plea to the world community as to the whereabouts of the real Timberwolves team. "Look, I know Randy yelled a lot, but at the time we told him our young players needed tough love. He was the bad cop, now Kevin will be the good cop", Taylor said at a press conference announcing the firing of Randy Wittman, and the new coaching assignment for McHale. "No matter the circumstances, we're praying for the roster's safe return."

McHale looking ashen and forlorn, basically agreed with Taylor's sentiments. "Look, I love basketball, so even with replacements, if it gives me an excuse not to travel to the in-laws during holiday season, I'm there. The fact is though, I want to be successful with our real team, the kids and players I brought here. I want to show every last one of you [the press] just how good I am as personnel evaluator and a coach. So, I say to any of my guys out there, for whatever reason you've left...please, come home."

Taylor, when asked if he really wanted the team back, given the potential of a government subsidy via the Athletes in Absentia act if the real players remain missing, scoffed at the suggestion. "That's ridiculous, we have no guarantee that we qualify for such funding anyway", reasoned Taylor. "Our fans deserve the very best, that's why we want our players back, and that's why I decided to make a change at this point to make Kevin our head coach. I'm not driving people away to sell the team, or any absurd notion like that."

Fake Al Jefferson, attending the meeting, said no matter the circumstances, he'll play hard for the new coach. "It's too bad we couldn't save Randy, and it's terrible the team has gone through the wringer the last week, but we'll play for the new dude, no doubt", said the faux Jefferson. "Playing the NBA has been a dream of mine, so maybe if the players one day do come back, maybe I'll still have a job."

Timberwolves televison commentator--and Lynx assistant coach--Jim Petersen fought back tears when he said the franchise was at a crossroads. "This situation has been so difficult, I'm proud of what Glen Taylor and Kevin McHale have done today. How many people could both address the short term and the long term issues this team has with one front office shift and press conference? These guys are so amazing, I'm proud to be working with them in any capacity. I only hope that if I ever get the opportunity to head coach or run a team, I can do it with the class of either of these two individuals."

Updates were scarce regarding the disapperance case itself, according to James McGruder, regional FBI agent-in-charge. "We continue to work all the leads, the cooperation we're getting from the Timberwolves franchise has been nothing short of fantastic. This is my first sports related press conference...I could get use to this", McGruder commented.

Anyone having information as to the whereabouts of the real Timberwolves roster can still call the established 800 number: 1-800-Who-Left.

Meet the New Boss...Same as the Old Boss

Okay, I remain skeptical. How is Jim Stack going to make a player deal for Kevin McHale? How is Fred Hoiberg or Rob Babcock going to recommend draft picks for Kevin McHale? How is the Iron Ranger going to put up with all those idiot media types and travel? How is this guy going to work with younger players?

This move is:

a) a beginning baby step for Glen Taylor away from his BFF (Basketball Friend Forever)
b) a way to hold McHale responsible for his player acquisitions

or

c) one the more cynical events in recent Minnesota sports history.

I think McHale will do a better job than Wittman with this club, but remember, they're still replacements, stand-in's for a real team.

Right now, there's only one thing left to say to Glen Taylor and the Wolves organization:

We won't get fooled again.

The Timberwolves Council of Elders - Fire and Hire Edition

Present: Glen Taylor, Kevin McHale, Fred Hoiberg, Jim Stack, Rob Babcock, Jim Petersen, various members of the Timberwolves ownership group

Glen Taylor: Elders, before we start...the secret handshake...

(silence, the flutter of robes)

Glen Taylor: Gentlemen, we are gathered here in this emergency session to determine the future of our brother, Randy Wittman...

Kevin McHale: I don't want to coach!

Glen Taylor: Kevin, you'll have your turn soon enough. Now, as I was saying, our team once again is under performing. Fans are staying away in droves, resentment is in the air, and it seems we are prematurely forced to take action. The obvious move here would be a coaching change, but I need your wisdom and sage advice in this dire hour.

Ownership group: Ask for a bailout!!!

(Fists repeatedly pound on the table)

Glen Taylor: That comes later, gentlemen. We have to assure the fans that we can make the necessary changes in order for the team to be successful, or I'm afraid all is lost.

Kevin McHale: Look guys, I'm feeling a bit like KG back in the day here; not only do I have to assemble the best young talent in the NBA and manage the cap, but now I have to coach again too? Veteran mercenaries I can coach, but young players, before the holidays? Can't we get Stack or Sichting to close out the season, then decide?

Jim Petersen: I could coach, I'm a Lynx assistant now...

Glen Taylor: Jim, this isn't a time to joke around. We're in trouble here. Look Kevin, my balance sheet is looking pretty poor. If we fire Randy now, I'm on the hook for his salary, and I just got rid of Dwayne's. If you haven't noticed, our team--like the economy--is in recession. You told me we had up and comers. You told me we'd be 20 games better than last year, and it seems you had a reason for saying that, so being that no one else here seems to get the blueprint you're creating, it's up to you to fix this. Gentlemen, do you agree?

(Fists repeatedly pound on the table)

Fred Hoiberg: Sir, if I might...

Glen Taylor: Of course Fred, you have the floor.

Fred Hoiberg: Kevin's a Hall of Famer to be sure, but if we take one more step back, I think there's a pattern developing here. When we traded Cassell and acquired Marko, Kevin told the media via Sid that we had the talent to make the playoffs. When we made the first Boston trade, he said that Marcus Banks was the key to the deal...

Jim Petersen: Mark Blount was the second best center in the Western Conference!

Fred Hoiberg: Yeah, right Jim. Then he trades a Hall of Famer and acquires talent that never won anything or even progressed in a second Boston trade, but yet Kevin is telling everyone how good they're going to be. Now, last off-season, he says we should be better by 20 more games. I think the evidence is getting clear...

Glen Taylor: That we should keep our mouths shut when we make deals?

Fred Hoiberg: No, no, that maybe Kevin isn't up to the job of VP.

Kevin McHale: You traitor...I knew I couldn't trust anyone outside of Stadium Village!

Fred Hoiberg: Look Kevin, you were a great player, and an awesome announcer. But I have to say, your track record is not getting any better here, and we're all being dragged down...

Rob Babcock: I'd love the VP job...I could hire Sam Mitchell all over again.

Fred Hoiberg: Whatever...Glen, all I'm saying is that firing Randy is one thing. Some of our fans will take that as a good sign. But maybe Randy isn't the entire problem, just like Dwyane wasn't the entire problem, or Flip for that matter, maybe it's Kevin...or maybe even us.

(the elders gasp)

Glen Taylor: Ah Fred, you're displaying your corporate naivete...rule one, always have a fall guy. I'm very comfortable with a simple coaching change right now, as long as Kevin's willing to show us the path back to respectability here, and because I love Kevin like a son. (leans over and kisses McHale on the cheek) Otherwise, we could kick this fall guy thing up another notch. Gentlemen, what say you?

Ownership Group: Aye!!! Down with Wittman, up with McHale!!!

Glen Taylor: Kevin, there's the deal. What say you?

(the plot thickens...)

Timberwolves Lost - Day 5: Possible Defections?

(Photo by David Sherman/NBAE via Getty Images)

(Useless Press Incorporated, December 7th, 2008, Minneapolis, MN)

The mystery of the missing Timberwolves roster continues, as their replacements/imposters lost Saturday night to the lowly Los Angeles Clippers 107-84. With this loss coming after a lopsided beating in New Jersey, players, coaches and front office all expressed frustration at the situation.

"It's pretty bad when even the replacements don't want to play hard", seethed Head Coach Randy Wittman. "I watched my son's team [Cornell] get waxed in the second half against the Gophers this afternoon, but they played hard, despite the odds. I thought I had my team ready, and since these were the Clippers dammit, this was a game we could have had, even with this roster."

The fake Al Jefferson, who led the team with 28 points and 8 rebounds for the evening, was sympathetic, but disagreed with his new coach. "I understand coach has his shorts in a bundle right now, but I think if anything we need to play together more on defense, and hit our open shots. If I get a little more help from my teammates and stay together, we'll be fine."

One Timberwolves staff member was still optimistic, even after such a devastating loss. "I simply don't get the gloom and doom around here", commented television broadcaster Jim Petersen. "I see signs that Kevin McHale has done a great job managing the situation, and in selecting these replacement players to fill in for the missing roster. Every time I see the new Love kid touch the ball, I'm amazed. He's a little undersized--just like the real Love--and he doesn't finish real well around the basket, given all the rebounds he gets, and his small area quickness hasn't helped him much on the defensive end, but his instincts for the game are awesome. I'm sure Kevin McHale--after this episode is all done--will be vindicated and revered for the superior basketball mind that he is."

Meanwhile, the search continues for the real Timberwolves roster, lost on December 2nd in Orlando during a light practice session in preparation for a contest with the Magic. FBI regional agent-in-charge James McGruder, attending the Wolves/Clippers game with his family, offered an informal update to reporters. "First of all, a big thank you to the Wolves organization for the Full Meal Deal tickets here in the upper level", said McGruder. "Since most of the fans who actually showed up are sitting in the lower section, it's like we have this section all to ourselves. The investigation is continuing, we are tracking leads both in Boston and over in Europe as to where the players might have gone and who might have them. In some aspects this incident is similar to reports about soccer teams playing for totalitarian governments who as an entire team defected from their country. Being this is a NBA franchise and not a government does make it different, but the "team was here, now they're gone" aspect does offer a framework theory from which we can operate. I can't be any more specific than that at this time, plus my son needs a hot dog."

The defection angle does have benefits for the Timberwolves franchise, according to legal experts. The "Athletes In Absentia Act", which encouraged Western sports franchises to welcome defecting athletes to join their teams by offering substantial financial support, is being sought by the Timberwolves to assist them at this time, according to an unnamed source. "It's not a bailout", commented the source, who requested to remain anonymous, "but we are looking into whether or not the rules of the act fit this situation. Obviously, we are suffering significant attenance losses as a result of this action, whether it be kidnapping, defection or resignation. These are perilous times for everyone, not just Wall Street bankers, mortgage owners, state governments, hedge fund managers, small business owners, the auto industry, school districts, universities and colleges, as well as everyday citizens. We're hemorrhaging money, and we can't just can't go out and buy a Costco or Wal-mart to help our cash flow."

The Timberwolves continue playing through this situation on Tuesday, December 9th, against the Utah Jazz at Target Center.

Day 3: Still Missing

(December 5, 2008, Meadowlands, NJ - Useless Press Incorporated)

With no leads and little information coming in, authorities have been increasingly frustrated by the lack of progress in finding the real Minnesota Timberwolves players, as the franchise again prepares their replacements for a game against the New Jersey Nets.

"To put it bluntly, we're stumped", admitted James McGruder, FBI, Minneapolis regional agent-in-charge. "They fell off the face of the earth, and it seems like absolutely no one cares."

A glimmer of hope surfaced Thursday when a hand crafted note made of newspaper advertisements was sent to the Minneapolis FBI, the note saying "Fire coach, or else". Both the newspaper ads and the note itself were traced back to a Mankato location, where it was discovered that it was simply a prank by a disgruntled former employee of Taylor Corp, who's owner--Glen Taylor--also owns the Timberwolves franchise.

"We half expected that", said McGruder, "we actually expected many more fakes, but the apathy about this case is nothing short of remarkable."

Meanwhile, the Timberwolves front office and coaching staff continues to prepare the existing team like nothing has happened. "Honestly, given the start of the season, there's not much difference between the team we lost and the one we have now", explained Kevin McHale, vice president of operations for the Timberwolves. "Of course, we hope to find the lads, but until then, we've got to fight through this with the players we've been given."

The game is 6:30 pm tonight, Central Daylight Time, at the IZOD Center in New Jersey.

Team of Minnesota Imposters Post Same Result

(Photo by Fernando Medina/NBAE via Getty Images)

If Useless Press reports are to believed, a group of Minnesota Timberwolves imposters went out and lost against the Orlando Magic Wednesday, 100-89. After carefully inspecting the evidence, this observer could find no difference between the missing roster and the one that showed up last night. The player masquerading as Kevin Love has a nice game with 16 points and 12 rebounds, a +4 for the night. In fact, he and the faux Al Jefferson were the only players playing significant minutes that were in the plus category. Fake Al had 19 points, with 8 rebounds, good for a +6.

Regardless of the real or fake opposition, despite having three players in their rotation out due to injury (Jameer Nelson, Keith Bogans, Michael Pietrus), the Magic showed superior athleticism and ability the entire evening. Point guard Courtney Lee, a rookie out of Western Kentucky, had 19 points off the Orlando bench, and could not be stopped by any of the Wolves guards. It's regrettable that if one were to have replaced this motley Minnesota bunch, they could not find anyone who could play the perimeter better than the originals. In fact, the entire Minnesota defense once again was horrible, allowing the Magic to shoot nearly 57% for the evening. Dwight Howard, Hedo Turkoglu, and Rashard Lewis all did their normal damage against the Wolves, Minnesota had no answer for any of them.

Unfortunately, our television broadcasters were all too real. Bright, shiny and optimistic, Jim Petersen and Tom Hanneman continued to put whatever lipstick they could on this animal. When the Mike Miller impersonator went down with an ankle injury, then came back in the third quarter, it was as if Willis Reed had once again graced Madison Square Garden in the 1970 NBA finals, coming back to inspire his team to victory. Unfortunately, reality bit down hard, as Orlando put the game away that quarter with a 26-12 advantage. I think it was at least two or three times Hanneman mentioned what a quality addition Miller has been to the Wolves roster. Petersen was also at his political spin best, especially when comparing the two franchises, since they came into the NBA together in the late 80's. "It's the luck of the draft", opined Petersen, obviously meaning the ability to have drafted O'Neal and Howard with the overall first pick in their respective drafts, along with Penny Hardaway, who was a third pick by Golden State, then traded to the Magic for the rights for Chris Webber. He forgets however, that we have had potential game changers available to us in at least two of the last four drafts, and we have failed to obtain them, or in Brandon Roy's case, hold on to them. Is that luck or incompetence?

All that being said, according to reports, the search is still on for our missing team. I will keep you updated on the search as time allows...

Breaking News: NBA Coach Loses Entire Team

Randy Wittman
DAVID MAXWELL/Getty Images

(December 2, 2008, Orlando, FL - Useless Press Incorporated)

For the first time in modern sports history, a professional basketball coach has lost his entire team. Head Coach Randy Wittman of the NBA's Minnesota Timberwolves, reported to Orlando police Tuesday afternoon that his entire team was no longer at Amway Arena, where they were going through a light practice before Wednesday's game with the Magic. 30 minutes after reporting the team missing, Wittman told a quickly assembled group of reporters that he was talking intensely about their 100-90 loss Monday night to the Charlotte Bobcats, turned his head briefly as a result of a loud bang heard in the foyer area, then found that his entire contingent of players were gone.

"I looked around in the lower section and locker rooms, thinking they were playing a joke on me", said an incredulous Wittman. "But, I couldn't find them anywhere. My assistants didn't see a thing, either. I'm simply flabbergasted."

Kevin McHale, Vice President of the Timberwolves who had been accompanying the team on this current road trip, petitioned to the league for cancellation of Wednesday's game, but the NBA executive board turned him down, offering instead to assemble a D-League roster and get them to Florida in time for the game. "They told me three of them look a lot like Big Al, Mike Miller and Randy Foye", explained McHale. "They mentioned that given our 4-12 start, they actually might be doing us a favor. I still think, if we can't find our original team, we should be able to win 30-35 games with whatever we're given."

Immediate steps were taken to perform a nationwide search for the Timberwolves roster. Anthony LaPaglia, star of the CBS series "Without a Trace", has been hired by the league to make two 60 second commercials pleading for the safe return of the roster. The 2008-2009 team photo has been given to milk producers all across the country to put on their cartons, in hope of generating some leads, as well as an 800 number being made available for citizens to call.

"This is a tragedy for sure", continued McHale. "As much as I am a huge fan of Randy's, no coach should lose an entire team like this. I just hope we find them in time to save the season, if not their careers."

If you have seen any of these players, or have information leading to the whereabouts of the Timberwolves roster, please call 1-800-Who-Left.

Back to the Dismal Future

As I watched the latest Wolves debacle--a 100-90 loss to Charlotte--I pinched myself. Many times. Mind you, I'm generally not into that sort of thing--pain really isn't pleasurable, if you get my drift--but as I listen to the broadcast, then compare it to what I'm watching, there's something alternative going on. Not cool, sensitive, or edgy alternative; it's like my HDTV has become a flux capacitor, and I'm Doc Brown, being transported back to the expansion years...

Was it last night that I heard that someone thought Randy Foye and Mike Miller were supposed to be options 2 and 3 for Al Jefferson, and that part of the problem this season is that they haven't quite fulfilled those roles? Seems to me outside of Miller's poor performance vs. Denver, those guys are playing well of late, at least on offense. Al was the problem last night, as well as the fact that as a team, they can't play any defense.

Was it last night that I heard about how down the team was regarding Corey Brewer, and how that could be affecting their performance? I simply have to wonder about what led to the other 11 losses, and the emotional stability of well paid professionals who know injury is a part of the game, especially when it happens to a six or seventh man coming off the bench. Yes, it is a shame about Brewer, who was starting to improve, but the team was losing with him, as well as without him.

Was it last night that I heard about Kevin Love already hitting all these "mini-walls", and how rookies--except for the special ones--need at least a year to adjust to the professional game. Seems to me at one time Love was labeled "special", someone who wildly succeeded at every other level--grade school, high school, college, etc.--and that we traded our 3rd pick in part because Love knew how to play at this level? After watching PG DJ Augustin play pretty well against our club last night, as well as other rookies such as Brook Lopez, Jason Thompson, and Derrick Rose make major contributions for their teams, it makes me wonder if this isn't making another excuse for yet another under developing or over valued Wolves draft choice. I don't necessarily disagree about the whole rookie wall thing, but it usually happens later in the season...way later. We haven't been through a quarter of the season yet!

In this alternate, quasi-expansion universe I'm sucked into when watching a Wolves broadcast, this team is a bunch of up and comers, where there are a number of legitimate reasons why they aren't competing and winning at a higher level. With this team, there's always an excuse around the corner. One day it will all be better, we're told. Just like the expansion years, except no Kevin Harlan, or Trent Tucker.

Of course back in the present, my alternative explanation is they're a bad team. Poorly assembled, coached, and marketed to a dwindling fan base weary of the same old BS.

Could it be that simple?

Obama Repeats Call for College Football Playoff Series, Repudiates Use Of The Term "Lead Guard" In NBA Blogs.

Win McNamee/Getty Images

(Useless Press Incorporated, December 1, 2008 - Chicago, IL)

In a wide-ranging interview with reporters from three local Chicago television stations, President-elect Barack Obama once again displayed his deep passion for sports related issues, renewing his call recently mentioned on "60 Minutes" for a college football playoff championship series. In the 42 minute, 38 second interview, he also discussed a number of other sports related topics pertaining to the NBA, blogs, and second chances for Michael Vick and Stephon Marbury.

"If we didn't have one minute to waste with all the other profound economic, social, and military challenges left to me by my predecessor", said Obama, "I would be much more vigorous in my advocacy of a college football playoff series. I'm a huge fan of college basketball's March Madness, and I think you certainly could find a way for football teams to playoff for the championship, as opposed to what we have today. There's a chance, for example, for an undefeated team--Ball State--to have to play an also ran Big Ten school--probably Minnesota--in the Motor City Bowl. Although they would be underdogs in playing anyone better, say a USC or Texas Tech, or even Northwestern, the fact they are undefeated should allow them to compete in a playoff system, to see just how far they could go."

When asked about the outsourcing of news--particularly sports journalism--to unpaid bloggers, Obama replied "it's a sad day for everyone who loves sports that we can't find an economic model to support these great writers who have spent years honing their craft. However, with change comes great opportunity, and I find some of these blogs very entertaining, if not informative. I would simply say to these enterprising folks, that if they want to be more respected, they should use proper terminology. For example, in a bunch of NBA related blogs I've seen the use of the term "lead guard" in describing NBA point guards. Now, "lead guard" is a term more suited to high school, college or even YMCA league basketball. It has no place in the NBA vernacular. To think a "2" guard, for example, could be a "lead guard" on a NBA professional team, well, maybe they should be writing about European basketball instead. The proper terminology for a NBA point guard is either point guard or combo guard."

Obama ended the interview with a sincere hope that Vick--former quarterback for the Atlanta Falcons, arrested on dog fighting charges--and Marbury--petulant point guard for a number of NBA teams--would be able to rejoin society in a meaningful way. "Michael's situation is much more serious than Stephon's naturally, and, while it is entirely true that their own actions have caused much pain and sorrow to themselves and people around them, if they are willing to be truly repentant, or in Stephon's case play in Italy, then I think part of the change that I'm talking about for us all is the ability to forgive, and not be so angry. As you can see, I have forgiven Hillary--and Bill--for all the nasty things they did and said to me on the campaign trail. As a result, I have a place for her in my cabinet. We should all be ready to move on, when the time is right."

Breaking News: Statistician Nate Silver hired to perform Timberwolves Regression Analysis

Nate Silver - FiveThirtyEight.com

(Useless Press Incorporated - November 30, 2008-Minneapolis, MN)

Emerging media and statistical phenom Nate Silver (FiveThirtyEight.com) has been hired by the Minnesota Timberwolves to use his regressive analysis technique in assessing the club's current performance.

"I'm not a big believer in stats", said Kevin McHale, Timberwolves VP of Operations. "But I have been very impressed with the accuracy of Nate's work, even though it predicted that my guy [failed Republican candidate John McCain] would lose. So much of this game has changed since I played it. It used to be we put on our shorts, played hard, and won or lost. Now, I think we need an extra edge--in addition to a couple more really great draft picks--to put us over the top. Nate will give us a more precise context for us to do our decision making."

Silver--in town to monitor the Al Franken/Norm Coleman Senatorial recount--was surprised by the Timberwolves offer. "Politics are my bread and butter, but when the call came, I reviewed Minnesota's operation and found that in terms of their performance--both front office and on-court--they are just about as political of an organization as a sports franchise can get, without actually running for anything. I've been impressed with their political spin type approach to every facet of their operation, right down to their broadcasts. The danger of course, is when organizations start to believe their own hype. I think in that respect, I can help. I'll be an honest, factual, information broker. I'll spare no algorithm in trying to figure out how to get this team back on track."

National media and basketball experts, however, remain skeptical. "I've always said stats are for fans", commented Kenny Smith, former NBA player and now TNT basketball analyst. "They may get better information to make decisions, but the problem hasn't been the information, it's the decision makers themselves." Charles Barkely, fellow TNT analyst, agrees. "Minnesota ain't no damn good. I love Kevin McHale, but he's been terrible for this franchise. Glen Taylor needs to ship him off so he can play more golf with me."

Unnamed sources close to the Timberwolves say that Silver will use his technique in a number of operational areas, from the number of times Head Coach Randy Wittman says in post-game comments that "the team just has to play though this" (an indication of the team's lack of confidence in his coaching abilities), to a projected weight of 2008 first round draft pick Kevin Love in 2012, when the first decision regarding his contractual status is due.

"This will be a great stretch for me", admitted Silver. "If I can actually help the Wolves, it will provide me with substantial work between election cycles. I can't wait to get started."

Evidence Based Basketball - Part 2

Continuing on from last post, the Wolves have put themselves in a pickle with the way they have begun this season, if you truly believe change is coming to Minnesota. With a 3-10 record, (a .231 winning percentage), they are on track to win 18-19 games. To reach the level where most dedicated fans, bloggers and MSM thought they were going to be--somewhere between 30-36 wins--they are going to have to win at around a .400 (28-41) or .500 (35-34) pace in their last 69 games. Not impossible by any stretch of the imagination, but my contention is that there's no evidence that they can or will perform at that level.

Tonight's game with OKC notwithstanding, the Wolves are one win ahead of the 07-08 pace; they were 2-11 on exactly this date last year. They went 20-49 the remainder of last season, roughly a .290 winning percentage. We were sold at the time that one primary reason why they were losing was Randy Foye's injury. If one immedately jumps to 1/29/08--the first game Foye was back in the rotation--the Wolves finished the remaining 38 games 14-24, a .368 winning percentage. Fast forward to the present, with Foye healthy and getting major minutes in the rotation, the Wolves are losing at a similar rate to last year. In fact, what is advertised to be the core of this team really isn't much different than '07-'08. It would suggest that as a long-term solution to the Wolves' problem--Foye ain't it.

This dilemma parallels the current economic crisis we're in, as well as the two approaches offered by our Presidential candidates in the recent election. Either Vice President McHale can tell us that the fundamentals of the franchise are sound, or he can concoct a personnel or coaching stimulus package to jolt the fortunes of the team. He can hope that one or more of his existing "core" (probably someone other than Big Al) dramatically improves their game(s), then continue to add talent primarily via the draft, or he can attempt to change the dynamic by adding or subtracting players or coaches.

If McHale "stays the course", and keeps the team's nucleus and coaching staff in place, there's little evidence to suggest that they will substantially improve. The previous McHale draft choices the last four years--McCants, Foye, Brewer, Smith, Richard, and now Love--have failed to add anything other than mediocrity to the franchise. Brewer and Love can still be considered projects, but the others--particularly McCants and the now departed Richard--have made little positive impact on the team. In Rashad's case particularly, he's approaching "Mini-JR" status; with his selfish, brooding, turnover prone game, he's a growing cancer on this roster. With neither the handle or the mindset to play anything but the "microwave" role, he could be considered one of the Iron Ranger's biggest draft mistakes--right alongside William Avery and Ndudi Ebi.

Jolting the team via coaching change has already been tried, but it's an inevitable tool to be used if the Wolves continue to lose at their current rate. Even though the evidence clearly suggests the main problem is at the strategy and talent acquisition level, Glen Taylor, not Kevin McHale, would need to step in and provide the stimulus jolt. Considering the enormous investment in the current strategy--undersized front court, struggling point guard play, poor defense--for him to step back and actually admit failure at this time and make the systemic changes needed to reverse the franchise fortunes would be remarkable indeed.

The evidence just isn't there...yet.

Evidence Based Basketball

(AP Photo/Jim Mone)

Question: How can a team that shoots 23 more times than the opposition, out rebounds them by 13 (with a staggering 21 to 3 offensive rebound edge), has seven more assists, and hits three more three pointers actually LOSE the game? To a team on the back-end of a two game swing no less? At home. Bueller...anyone?

Answer: when you're the supposedly progressing Minnesota Timberwolves.

As they lurch into December, we're getting closer to the time--on a normal, impatient NBA team--that plug pulling would be necessary. Of course, this is not true with the Wolves. Having watched recordings of all President 43's speeches and campaign appearances, admitting front office mistakes and re-crafting strategy is not part of their operation.

We've already seen two teams--OKC (a team that played much better against the Suns, BTW), and Washington--fire coaches who are decidedly much more accomplished than our current sideline leader. Of course, we've already employed that strategy, having burned through three head coaches (if you count McHale himself) in the last four years. Could Wittman be the fourth? An optimist could say, however, that we have more wins than the Thunder or Wizards. If we win against Oklahoma on Friday(certainly not a given), we will have a winning record in our last five games, which considering the 1-8 start, is a sign of progress, considering two of those wins were against "quality" opponents (Philly, Detroit). After a rough start, we still could hit the 30-35 win stride most thought we would be at this year.

Even though I thought progress was supposed to be measured against last year, and not just the fact they're slightly less awful in the last few games than the first eight... point taken.

As they say on those countless CSI shows, we should look at the evidence. What has really changed from last year? I would argue that the Wolves have changed only incrementally--possibly bordering on excrementally--at best. Right now, the Wolves are on track to win 18-19 games, with their 3-10 start, and .231 winning percentage. Given the "improvement" in the last four games, if they play around .500 ball their remaining 69 games (35-34) they will be at 38 wins, which would be just about the plateau for the Iron Ranger to hang a "Mission Accomplished" banner at Target Center. Bloggers everywhere would be celebrating, given their improved salary cap situation, and the stockpiled draft choices they have coming up. If they go 28-41--around .400--they'll be at 31 wins, the low end of pre-season expectations. Die-hard fans would be cautiously optimistic.

Question: does anyone truly believe the Wolves will win at either of those percentages the rest of the season?

More to come...

"We Were Looking Ahead to Minnesota"

Photo by NBAE/Getty Images

(Useless Press Incorporated - Oklahoma City, OK, November 25, 2008)
Matt Barnes hit the winning shot with 21 seconds left in the fourth quarter, and the Phoenix Suns held on to beat the Oklahoma City Thunder 99-98, in Oklahoma City. The Suns, playing without Shaquille O'Neal, who was a DNP-Coach's Decision, were behind the majority of the game, playing lackluster ball until late in the fourth quarter.

"Between having no energy and holding Shaq back to rest, we were lucky to win", commented Suns coach Terry Porter. "I think we were looking ahead to Minnesota tomorrow, given the juggernaut they're assembling up there. Look what they did to the Pistons. Even though they took advantage of some pretty cold outside shooting last Sunday, I know they're thinking they've turned the corner, especially Randy Foye. As little as that team has won the last few years, I know I would be selling that if I were Kevin McHale and Randy Wittman. I was up there for a couple of years, so I know how McHale thinks."

Amare Stoudemire led the Suns with 22 points and 7 rebounds, going a +15 for the night. "Yeah, I might have been looking ahead to tomorrow night just a bit," said Stoudemire. "I heard about how the Wolves broadcasters keep saying Al Jefferson torched me last year, and that was the reason why they brought Shaq in. Hopefully, the big fella can go tomorrow night, but if he can't, I guess it's time to see if he can do it again. I've got tickets to First Avenue tomorrow, so I'd like to see--unlike tonight--if we could close them out before the fourth quarter. I like to at least catch part of the show."

Steve Nash,who had 15 assists along with 20 points, is also looking forward to tomorrow's game. "What can I say, it's close to Canada", Nash offered. "I can't wait to see if Randy Foye is for real, after his game against Detroit. I know a lot of fans up there are still upset they gave up Roy to get him, but maybe he's finally coming out. This should be fun."

The game will start at 6pm, Mountain Time, on Fox Sports Arizona.

It Must Be The Footwork

(Photo by Allen Einstein/NBAE via Getty Images)

(Useless Press Incorporated - Monday, November 24, 2008)
Minnesota showed superior footwork in pasting the Pistons 106-80, at the Palace in Auburn Hills, MI Sunday. While actual statements can't be verified, it was rumored by many in the locker room that some in the Wolves brain trust thought they hadn't seen such footwork since the Magic Johnson led Lakers of the 80's. Johnson, in Los Angeles, preparing for an appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live tonight, could not be reached for comment.

That the Wolves--identified as perennial league doormats--could pick up their first road win against quality opposition, wasn't lost on the Detroit fans. "First no government bailout, then this", commented Beretta Axhandle, long time Pistons season ticket holder. "Maybe we should get Flip back", he continued, remembering former coach Flip Saunders, fired by the Pistons in the offseason. "Of course, the real problem are Sunday games. I see these guys partying all the time down in the bars Saturday night. They've been losing on Sundays a lot lately, and AI isn't much of a team leader yet."

Back in the Minnesota locker room, comparisons ran amok between the coaching staff and players celebrating their victory. The Wolves' Randy Foye, a much maligned, still developing point guard, broke out for 23 points and 14 assists, going a gaudy + 25 for the night. He immediately was compared to recent departed guard Chauncey Billups (Mr. Big Shot), now playing for Denver. Ryan Gomes--who scored 20 points with seven rebounds, a +16 for the night--was compared to Satch Sanders, the former Boston Celtic, a real "glue guy". Al Jefferson, (18 points, 8 rebounds, +25) who has already been compared to Hakeem Olajuwon and Moses Malone in recent days by Wolves announcer (and Lynx assistant coach) Jim Petersen, was heard attempting to add Nate Thurmond, Willis Reed and Walt Bellamy to his resemblance list. One unnamed Timberwolf official put it this way: "until these guys actually turn the corner, we'd compare them to minor deities if we can sell tickets. Yeah, they stunk against Boston, but just like Senator McCain said in the last days before the election, we've got teams just where we want them. 3 and 9...hell no, we're STREAKING, having won 2 out of the last 3. In these poor economic times, any sign of hope is marketable. We've trying to lower the bar enough to make mediocrity palatable."

In a weekend where OKC Thunder head coach PJ Carlisemo was fired, and increased rumors about Reggie Theus' job in Sacremento are surfacing, the Detroit win gives Coach Randy Wittman a little breathing room. "Yeah, I know Dwayne Casey got fired for inconsistency. And honestly, between our terrible home game against Boston and our win tonight, what could be more inconsistent? But, I've been around here a long time, and folks know me here. Dwayne didn't have the benefit of being on the inside, so while he might have been the victim of a double standard, he DID have KG around. Of course, I did too and I couldn't do anything with him either. I think a few wins a month represents real progress. What's KG doing with his ring this year anyway, beside torching us and picking on the opposition's smaller players? Not much. People in the state know I have the REAL challenge ahead of me. I'll be fine."

The Wolves continue their streak against Phoenix on Wednesday at home, 7pm.

The Pretenders

(Photo by David Sherman/NBAE via Getty Images)

Both Hakeem Olajuwon and Moses Malone were embarrassed by Boston last night. As the broadcast of the Celtics trouncing our Woebegoners began, Chief Vindicator (and Lynx assistant coach) Jim Petersen immediately took pains to compare Al Jefferson to the two Hall of Fame centers, saying that Jefferson's footwork was the best he's seen since the Dream; the way Big Al tapped in his first basket reminded him of Moses Malone. In comparing Garnett and Al, I think I actually heard him say Jefferson was going to be in the Hall of Fame one day. I can't be sure I heard that statement correctly however; by that time I was in my kitchen vigorously working my martini shaker. I had a feeling I was going to need a sip or two to watch this "contest". As the game continued, I was correct. So much for comparisons.

It would be easy and I think even a tad classless to rip the Wolves, after all, given that they followed up their first win in November against Philly with such an awful, moribund, amateur, lifeless and confuzzled performance, the team must be beating themselves up. I mean, they dedicated an entire Don Overbeck commerical, hired Verne Troyer's stunt double to pose as a leprechaun, and were able to sucker an announced 19,000 plus into the Target Center, only to watch KG and the Celts waive to our club in their rear view mirror. Talk about your buzzkills! Yep, it would be easy and classless, so I'll do it.

What exactly is it about the Wolves current brain trust that they can't see the damage they are inflicting on their own franchise? Is it the hubris of wealth, the promimently Republican leadership, midwestern stubborness, a combination of the three, or something else? When all is said and done, one day Glen Taylor will probably sell this team at a profit, even with the mounting losses he must be taking on right now. He can continue to sit in the front row at TC, smile, and tell anyone who will listen that while he's not happy with their season start, he has faith that things will turn out. It's the same words our owner's been saying now for years. And, you know, he's right, it WILL turn out...for Glen Taylor. Like a lot of other upper bracket capitalists in this economy, even in failure he'll get paid. At least Taylor is not asking for a bailout...yet.

By the time they get around to actually being successful, the only people left following the Wolves will be a bunch of bloggers (gamely, but incorrectly insisting Kevin Love is a fantastic player), purists who simply appreciate professional basketball at any cost, and the dance team. If you can't get a deal on a ticket, why would a casual fan show up? Last night, you can see when a team is assembled the right way--defense, then offense--how excellence is achieved. Sure, we all expected the Wolves not to make the playoffs this year, but they're regressing--not progressing. This team--night in, night out--can't guard anybody. Even when they traded for an above average low post player to replace Garnett, they're still a predominately jump shooting team who can't get decent shots when pressured. And, when the shooting percentage is .313...in Mafia terms, forget about it. Against quality teams, they can't generate enough defense to keep them in the game until they find some semblence of offense to steal a win.

If anyone thinks once again tanking this year to acquire a Ricky Rubio or Brandon Jennings in next year's draft is going to solve the problem, well, I have a couple of full price Wolves lower level tickets I'd like to sell you. Who says even if the Wolves COULD draft those players, they would? There's GOT to be another player that McHale will think is better that he'll draft--despite the "Council of Elders" approach they've got working now. At the core of this failure is the inability to assess talent and hire the right coach to implement a vision--any vision.

The one thing this club did right last night was not wait until the fourth quarter to lose the game. For those folks simply wanting to see KG once again in person, they could have left at the start of the fourth quarter, beaten any traffic home, or had a late dinner/nightcap at any one of several fine Warehouse District establishments. That's real consideration, in my book. How exactly is it that a team of veterans on the back end of a two game stint has more energy in the second half than the young'uns with a day off in-between their game? The mind boggles.

According to reports, the OKC Thunder have fired PJ Carlesimo, after their 1-12 start. Given their new location novelty, that team could sit on their hands, do nothing, and still have a great attendance year. Yet, they care enough about the club to see--after only a season or two--that PJ wasn't going to get it done. Even the Clippers are making moves, for Jim Pete's sake. Yet the Wolves--faced with the increasingly obvious evidence that this group is on a court to nowhere--are refusing to budge. They'd much rather spin at this point, and compare Jefferson to Hall of Fame centers, instead of building an environment where he could one day achieve that plateau.

That's the mark of pretenders, not contenders.

Philadelphia Freedom

(Photo by David Sherman/NBAE via Getty Images)

For one night, the Wolves are free to celebrate an actual victory, having stayed tough against the 76ers 102-96 at Target Center. The post-game jubilation was not unlike the video clip of their very first franchise win against the Charles Barkley led Philly team 20 years ago, shown at halftime on FSN. It seemed as if the Sixers were content to try and win it in the last six or so minutes of the game, playing lethargically other than the first quarter where they jumped out to a double digit lead. But when you're 1-11 from the three point line, and only 15 of 23 from the free throw line, chances of a road victory--any road victory--are reduced. They came into Minnesota, thought it was going to be an easy win, and suffered the consequences.

The Wolves, on the other hand, did some nice things last night. Freed from having to play Rashad McCants any meaningful minutes (out with back spasms), they shared the ball very well with 29 assists. Craig Smith came off the bench with some great energy and scored 21 points, going 7-9 from the field. The fact he had zero rebounds was somewhat mitigated by his five assists.

In the fourth quarter, the club finally found Big Al, and in return Al found Mike Miller for a huge trey at the end of the game. Jefferson scored 8 points in the quarter, and seem determined to put the team on his back...as long as he could touch the ball. Miller had a nice overall game, with 10 points, 10 rebounds and 6 assists, and was able to play good enough defense not to be a liability at the end of that floor.

This club still is a mismatch of personnel; their two primary front court players (Jefferson, Love) play primarily at the same position, and are too small to play together consistently. For the night, the Sixers outrebounded the Wolves 40-33, and especially in the fourth, were able to drive to the hoop consistently. As has been pointed out in other blogs, adding Smith to the mix only makes them more susceptible to defensive breakdowns, where they have to aggressively double-team down in the block, only to have good teams swing the ball around for open looks on the perimeter. Because Brand had a bit of an off night (9-21 shooting), Dalumbert isn't a offensive force inside, and the Sixers weren't hitting their three point shots, the Wolves weren't exposed in this manner last night.

But small ball won't work consistently on this club. Overall team transition speed--especially in the front court--is mediocre at best, and would expose more of the club's weaknesses than play to their strengths. Furthermore, the NBA seems to being moving away from the D'Antoni-Nelson, glorified All Star game type of ball, where everyone runs and no one plays defense. If that's true, thank God. Save that type of junk for the D-League, college or European leagues. I love a good fastbreak, but let's play at both ends of the court please. Good defense can lead to great offense.

In the end--despite having to be told TWICE on the FSN broadcast about Jim Pete's appointment to the Lynx coaching staff--this win was one to savor, because there aren't many coming the Wolves way just yet...and the champs are coming to town on Friday.

Above Average?

"But give me a perennial contender over a magical season or two. I know this isn't the predominant view. I was one of the rare Target Center attendees who was very happy with the Saunders/Garnett tenure here." - Britt Robson, Secrets of the City

Ladies and gentlemen...I present your Lake Wobegon Timberwolves! Where, in this current professional sporting environment, leagues move franchises if cities don't pony up public financing for local arenas, increase ticket prices for even the most awful of teams, as well as charge full price for preseason games, above average performance--not championships--is the goal.

Of course, this begs a few questions:
1. Were the Timberwolves true contenders during the Garnett/Saunders years?
2. Would Garnett/Saunders themselves be content with their tenure in Minnesota?

In my view, the answers would be: Only one year, and, of course not.

3. Was it my imagination or was one of the reasons Garnett became increasingly dissatisfied with this franchise was its inability to truly compete for a title?
4. Why, after the Wolves fired him in 04-05, Saunders rejected a Milwaukee Bucks rebuilding offer to take a high risk, high reward coaching job with the Pistons?

The answers: it wasn't my imagination, and, the Pistons job offered him a better chance to win a ring.

Ultimately, if teams at the professional level don't consistently strive for excellence, they stagnate, and the great players--becoming increasingly concerned with their sporting legacy--look to achieve greatness elsewhere. In this small to mid market, where there are four professional teams competing for an increasingly expensive ticket, if teams can't legitimately compete for a title, they stagnate, and the fan base dwindles slowly over time.

This doesn't mean they have to win it all. Utah is a great example. During the Malone/Stockton years, they were at the doorstep, but never won. Now they have retooled, and again are in the mix in the competetive Western Conference. Despite being the only major league team in their market, they haven't taken themselves--or their fans--for granted. With so much riding on professional franchises--tax revenue, public subsidies, the surrounding businesses who depend on the fan base for increased patronage and profits--is it too much to ask that our teams strive to perform to the highest level, and be judged on the result?

Any standard lower than that seems rather D-League to me.

Groundhog Day or Space Jam?

In only nine games, this is what the Wolves season has been reduced to, a discussion about which movie is analogous to their awful 1-8 start. Given the similarities in a majority of the losses, in which the Wolves hold decent leads, only to wither in the clutch, Coach Wittman has offered the 1993 movie Groundhog Day with Bill Murray as their model for futility. Ever the contrarian, I respectfully disagree. Another Bill Murray movie--Space Jam--would be my pick. Why? Two reasons:

1) I truly believe aliens have stolen the basketball souls of our players.
2) Only Michael Jordan could save us now.

By the end of their game against Phoenix on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving (11/26), the chances our club will be 1-12 are excellent. Looking on the bright side of life, we do have a great opportunity to once again matchup against our hated bottom dwellers--the OKC Thunder--in a 11/28 road battle to determine which team is the absolute worst in the league. Thankfully, there ARE other options that holiday weekend--Ike Reilly at First Avenue on Wednesday (for charity), and a prime repeat of the Ghost Whisperer on Friday (7:00 pm, your local CBS station). Given the dwindling crowds at Target Center, and the miniscule ratings the Wolves are currently pulling in on our local television outlets, the chances of a basketball fan "Wolves opt-out" are substantial.

Of course, a true fan might look at the Wolves ongoing dilemma as a continuing prime-time soap opera, a basketball version of ABC's Desperate Housewives. Call it Desperate Franchise, the story about an owner and his struggling team trying to gain respect in an elite league of sporting excellence, fame and wealth. Maybe we oould convince Eva Longoria Parker to join the show, in the hopes her husband wouldn't again torch us for 55 points.

Since there's no crying in basketball--for the players or the fans--humor is our only defense when witnessing a debacle of this proportion. On the other hand, there's also prayer...

From Good to Awful

"Greatness is not a function of circumstance; it is clearly a matter of conscious choice."
Jim Collins, From Good to Great

Earlier in this decade, the Wolves were good. They wanted to be great, and had a great player in Garnett, but never, as a team achieved greatness. Now, with KG gone and the team plummeting, fans are wondering: where did the Wolves go wrong? What can be done?

Mind you, I'm not the biggest fan of all these trendy business philosophy books. Given the Wolves 1-6 start however, it may be time to look past the stats and the on-court issues to the core organizational philosophies that have created this losing brand in the first place. I realize Glen Taylor is a successful, wealthy businessman. He doesn't need some full figured, five figure, anonymous figure to tell him how to be a successful sports executive. That would be presumptuous. But why not at least compare some core tenets of one of the more popular--and adopted--business tomes of our time to the current abyss known as the Wolves basketball organization:

1. Whether someone is the right person has more to do with character and innate capabilities than specific knowledge, skills or experience.

For years, we've been hearing folks like Kevin McHale and Jim Petersen tell everyone how knowledgeable they are about basketball. Petersen particularly during Wolves broadcasts has droned on about his own insider status, the fact he's played the game, the fact that McHale is one of the greatest players of our time. Okay, point taken. I would humbly reply that the list of great players who have mediocre to poor sports executives is long and deep. Isiah Thomas, Michael Jordan, Wes Unseld, Willis Reed, Elgin Baylor...I could go on. The principle here is that superior basketball knowledge alone is not enough to be a great sports executive, there are many other skills a person needs to be successful once they step off the hardwood.

2. Every good-to-great company had “Level 5” leadership during pivotal transition years, where Level 1 is a Highly Capable Individual, Level 2 is a Contributing Team Member, Level 3 is the Competent Manager, Level 4 is an Effective Leader, and Level 5 is the Executive who builds enduring greatness through a paradoxical blend of personal humility and professional will.

Is Kevin McHale a Level 5 executive?

3. Level 5 leaders display a compelling modesty, are self-effacing and understated. In contrast, two thirds of the comparison companies had leaders with gargantuan personal egos that contributed to the demise or continued mediocrity of the company.

Uh, I think the answer to the above question would be....no. Humble would not be a trait to describe the Iron Ranger. He's pretty folksy about his arrogance, but it's still arrogance.

4. The Level 5 discovery is an empirical, not ideological, finding.

Here again, at some point, the facts speak for themselves. After some early success, and Forbes Magazine notwithstanding, Glen Taylor should face the reality that McHale's track record--especially in the last few years--is not improving, but decaying. His judgment, especially in personnel matters, has been poor, and has diminished the Wolves brand.

5. Good-to-great companies focus on what Not to do and what they should stop doing.

One could certainly argue that the Wolves have tried to change their "blueprint" in the last two years. They jettisoned the strategy of finding KG's side kick, then acquired and re-signed young talent thought to be the new core of this team, at reasonable prices. The problem is, most of that talent has proven to be pretty mediocre, a clear failure of personnel evaluation. The latest move, acquiring Kevin Love for OJ Mayo, gave the Wolves much needed salary cap relief, a veteran personnel overhaul, and someone who had potential to be both a decent addition and a fan favorite. Love has shown signs of being serviceable to good, and has been described as already the second best player by some in the Wolves community, the first of course being Big Al. On a 1-6 team, who cares? It's becoming clearer that they essentially play the same position: power forward. Mayo, on the other hand, is meeting all expectations, and has become a core piece of the Memphis team. This storyline has a long way to go before it's finished, but when you consider the other significant draft picks--McCants, Foye, Smith, Brewer--it's clear that a primary failure of this club is picking talent, especially when players like Josh Howard, Danny Granger, Brandon Roy, and now Mayo were left on the table.

6. Good-to-great management teams consist of people who debate vigorously in search of the best answers, yet who unify behind decisions, regardless of parochial interests.

Here's another example of where the Wolves organization could be changing, at least in terms of bring more people to the table. I would suggest however, that if McHale--or Glen Taylor--is the Level 5 unifier, that's where the problem might be. Parochial interests might be described as the "one of us", or "country club" syndrome. Are the Wolves vigorously in search of the best answers? Who debated the Foye for Roy decision, or even the Mayo for Love deal on draft day?

Last night's game against the Warriors is another indication of the futility of this franchise. Last year, despite the lack of defensive acumen, we were told by McHale and Petersen that what the team primarily needed was outside shooting. In the off-season, they acquired Mike Miller and declared they were going to be able to spread the floor with shooters like McCants, Foye and Miller to provide relief for Big Al in the front court. Yet in the fourth quarter, against a zone defense, the Wolves spread the floor with those players, but couldn't hit a shot OR find Al underneath. Rashad McCants was primarily culpable last night, missing two shots in the last 28 seconds of regulation, then losing Stephen Jackson on defense for a dagger three pointer in overtime. It should be clear to everyone by now that Shaddy isn't a clutch scorer, and a poor defender. Randy Foye, thought to be the point guard of the future, can't run the team in pressure situations. What's the use of having shooters if they can't score or distribute?

I suggested in another blog that the Wolves go with the flow and, since they can't play defense consistently, simply find a coach like Flip Saunders who could refine their offense and make them entertaining. I was half-joking of course; if you can't play defense in this league, you're not going to win consistently. They played better defense last night, but lack any sort of closing confidence to finish games. From talent evaluation to coaching selection and execution, the Wolves have not been able to develop any winning strategies. One could say it's bad luck, but again if you find the "good to great" philosophy credible, organizations make their own luck. Through all the roster changes, coaching replacements and blueprints for the future, there have been two constants: Glen Taylor and Kevin McHale. Once they were good, but now they're awful. It's time to recognize that real change--and a path to greatness--starts at the top.

A Glass Half Full or Half Empty?

Haven't we seen this before? The Wolves lay an egg against a beatable opponent (Sunday's effort against OKC), then rebound with an entertaining yet futile effort against an elite, albeit struggling team. It's fitting that we are celebrating the 20 year anniversary of the franchise, because it's expansion time all over again, baby. Any thought the Wolves might just surprise a few folks and actually compete for a low seed playoff slot are being dashed quickly. Our club had no answer for Tony Parker, who scored 55 points, with 10 assists in San Antonio's 129-125 victory in double OT.

Right now, after four games, it's hard to be on the fence about this team. Those who have bitten into the "McHale can rebuild this club" apple will point to individual performances by Mike Miller, Kevin Love, Corey Brewer, Sebastian Telfair and Al Jefferson as reasons to keep hope alive. For anyone who's in that camp, shouldn't those players be the starting five right now?

For those in the "nothing's changed" camp, we can look at poster children Randy Foye and Rashad McCants, along with coach Randy Wittman and the incessant spin of the Wolves broadcast team. Let's start with the coach. Given Parker was insane the entire night, I would certainly buy into the argument that there might have been nothing anyone could have done to stop him. No Wolves point guard or Brewer could even slow him down. However, at key points of the game--especially at the end of the first OT, couldn't the coach have tried to double team him to get the ball out of his hands or--gasp--deny him the rock? The fact is that time and time again Wittman has no answer for what the other team is doing.

Then there's Foye and McCants. Foye has been awful this year, but despite having a better game against the Spurs, he made two crucial turnovers at the end of the fourth quarter to once again cast doubt that he will be a star or core role player for this team. And of course, we have Shaddy. Here's a guy with all the physical talent in the world, but as immature as anyone named J.R. Rider. Last night he played no defense and made little effort to move the ball around to other teammates, being content to immediately jack up shots when he touched the ball.

Blogs across the Wolves community have presented viewing these two players as an "either or" proposition, as in one should stay and one should go. I've said it before and will say it again: how about dealing the both of them? It would of course be another blow to McHale's reputation as a personnel evaluator to do so, but given they have Telfair signed and a decent backup in Kevin Ollie along with other offensive weapons, why not get those two out of here? Jamaal Tinsely would be a better point guard than Foye at this juncture, and he probably has a better arsenal of handguns for this concealed carry state. It's getting more obvious by the day that as long as Randy Wittman is coach here, McCants will continue to have a short leash. They both still have the label "potential" etched into their resumes, why not send them packing, while they still have value? In Portland and Indiana, I'm sure Brandon Roy and Danny Granger are so thankful they didn't get drafted by this club.

Then there's my favorite whipping folks--the Wolves broadcast crew. This bunch can't call a game or produce any media without spinning how great everyone in the organization is, from draft picks to front office, to coaches, to ballboys, to trainers, to themselves. Could we at least get back to an 8th seed playoff slot before the heavenly proclamation declaring excellence is produced? Jim Petersen better get a room with Kevin Love, because he hasn't show this much affection toward a front court player since Mark "Second Best" Blount left the team. If I were Big Al, I might actually be jealous.

Here's the deal: Love has some good instincts, but the Spurs, like the Wolves, are pretty much a half-court team. Where the rook has been exposed is when matched up against any big who can run the court. Love played well against Duncan in the first half, but strangely wasn't matched up with him when Timmy heated up in the second half. K-Love is showing himself to be a good weak side defender, for example, but to state that he and Jefferson are going to be "dominant, at both ends of the court", is a huge stretch, and has that desperate, oversold feel to it, like having told us Mark Blount is "the second best center in the Western Conference" a couple of years ago. To both Petersen and Pat Reusse, I would simply say let's wait and see, it's a long season.

So once again we have lines being drawn here; you can either be taken with efforts like last night, or you could take a step back and say--not unlike David Byrne--"same as it ever was". Because it's only four games, I remain a glass half full guy at this juncture, but I could certainly understand why fans would not want to support this team, until actual, un-spinnable progress is shown by the Wolves.