Nate Silver - FiveThirtyEight.com(Useless Press Incorporated - November 30, 2008-Minneapolis, MN)
Emerging media and statistical phenom Nate Silver (FiveThirtyEight.com) has been hired by the Minnesota Timberwolves to use his regressive analysis technique in assessing the club's current performance.
"I'm not a big believer in stats", said Kevin McHale, Timberwolves VP of Operations. "But I have been very impressed with the accuracy of Nate's work, even though it predicted that my guy [failed Republican candidate John McCain] would lose. So much of this game has changed since I played it. It used to be we put on our shorts, played hard, and won or lost. Now, I think we need an extra edge--in addition to a couple more really great draft picks--to put us over the top. Nate will give us a more precise context for us to do our decision making."
Silver--in town to monitor the Al Franken/Norm Coleman Senatorial recount--was surprised by the Timberwolves offer. "Politics are my bread and butter, but when the call came, I reviewed Minnesota's operation and found that in terms of their performance--both front office and on-court--they are just about as political of an organization as a sports franchise can get, without actually running for anything. I've been impressed with their political spin type approach to every facet of their operation, right down to their broadcasts. The danger of course, is when organizations start to believe their own hype. I think in that respect, I can help. I'll be an honest, factual, information broker. I'll spare no algorithm in trying to figure out how to get this team back on track."
National media and basketball experts, however, remain skeptical. "I've always said stats are for fans", commented Kenny Smith, former NBA player and now TNT basketball analyst. "They may get better information to make decisions, but the problem hasn't been the information, it's the decision makers themselves." Charles Barkely, fellow TNT analyst, agrees. "Minnesota ain't no damn good. I love Kevin McHale, but he's been terrible for this franchise. Glen Taylor needs to ship him off so he can play more golf with me."
Unnamed sources close to the Timberwolves say that Silver will use his technique in a number of operational areas, from the number of times Head Coach Randy Wittman says in post-game comments that "the team just has to play though this" (an indication of the team's lack of confidence in his coaching abilities), to a projected weight of 2008 first round draft pick Kevin Love in 2012, when the first decision regarding his contractual status is due.
"This will be a great stretch for me", admitted Silver. "If I can actually help the Wolves, it will provide me with substantial work between election cycles. I can't wait to get started."
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