Groundhog Day or Space Jam?

In only nine games, this is what the Wolves season has been reduced to, a discussion about which movie is analogous to their awful 1-8 start. Given the similarities in a majority of the losses, in which the Wolves hold decent leads, only to wither in the clutch, Coach Wittman has offered the 1993 movie Groundhog Day with Bill Murray as their model for futility. Ever the contrarian, I respectfully disagree. Another Bill Murray movie--Space Jam--would be my pick. Why? Two reasons:

1) I truly believe aliens have stolen the basketball souls of our players.
2) Only Michael Jordan could save us now.

By the end of their game against Phoenix on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving (11/26), the chances our club will be 1-12 are excellent. Looking on the bright side of life, we do have a great opportunity to once again matchup against our hated bottom dwellers--the OKC Thunder--in a 11/28 road battle to determine which team is the absolute worst in the league. Thankfully, there ARE other options that holiday weekend--Ike Reilly at First Avenue on Wednesday (for charity), and a prime repeat of the Ghost Whisperer on Friday (7:00 pm, your local CBS station). Given the dwindling crowds at Target Center, and the miniscule ratings the Wolves are currently pulling in on our local television outlets, the chances of a basketball fan "Wolves opt-out" are substantial.

Of course, a true fan might look at the Wolves ongoing dilemma as a continuing prime-time soap opera, a basketball version of ABC's Desperate Housewives. Call it Desperate Franchise, the story about an owner and his struggling team trying to gain respect in an elite league of sporting excellence, fame and wealth. Maybe we oould convince Eva Longoria Parker to join the show, in the hopes her husband wouldn't again torch us for 55 points.

Since there's no crying in basketball--for the players or the fans--humor is our only defense when witnessing a debacle of this proportion. On the other hand, there's also prayer...