Team of Minnesota Imposters Post Same Result

(Photo by Fernando Medina/NBAE via Getty Images)

If Useless Press reports are to believed, a group of Minnesota Timberwolves imposters went out and lost against the Orlando Magic Wednesday, 100-89. After carefully inspecting the evidence, this observer could find no difference between the missing roster and the one that showed up last night. The player masquerading as Kevin Love has a nice game with 16 points and 12 rebounds, a +4 for the night. In fact, he and the faux Al Jefferson were the only players playing significant minutes that were in the plus category. Fake Al had 19 points, with 8 rebounds, good for a +6.

Regardless of the real or fake opposition, despite having three players in their rotation out due to injury (Jameer Nelson, Keith Bogans, Michael Pietrus), the Magic showed superior athleticism and ability the entire evening. Point guard Courtney Lee, a rookie out of Western Kentucky, had 19 points off the Orlando bench, and could not be stopped by any of the Wolves guards. It's regrettable that if one were to have replaced this motley Minnesota bunch, they could not find anyone who could play the perimeter better than the originals. In fact, the entire Minnesota defense once again was horrible, allowing the Magic to shoot nearly 57% for the evening. Dwight Howard, Hedo Turkoglu, and Rashard Lewis all did their normal damage against the Wolves, Minnesota had no answer for any of them.

Unfortunately, our television broadcasters were all too real. Bright, shiny and optimistic, Jim Petersen and Tom Hanneman continued to put whatever lipstick they could on this animal. When the Mike Miller impersonator went down with an ankle injury, then came back in the third quarter, it was as if Willis Reed had once again graced Madison Square Garden in the 1970 NBA finals, coming back to inspire his team to victory. Unfortunately, reality bit down hard, as Orlando put the game away that quarter with a 26-12 advantage. I think it was at least two or three times Hanneman mentioned what a quality addition Miller has been to the Wolves roster. Petersen was also at his political spin best, especially when comparing the two franchises, since they came into the NBA together in the late 80's. "It's the luck of the draft", opined Petersen, obviously meaning the ability to have drafted O'Neal and Howard with the overall first pick in their respective drafts, along with Penny Hardaway, who was a third pick by Golden State, then traded to the Magic for the rights for Chris Webber. He forgets however, that we have had potential game changers available to us in at least two of the last four drafts, and we have failed to obtain them, or in Brandon Roy's case, hold on to them. Is that luck or incompetence?

All that being said, according to reports, the search is still on for our missing team. I will keep you updated on the search as time allows...